Tuesday, 1 April 2014

"The Grind is a terrible thing to waste"; Music for vomit fights.

Grindcore is to music what sulfuric acid is to an open wound. Black metal is cruel, Death metal is nasty, Powerviolence is rough...Grindcore is just unnecessary. It's the sound of beating up a sick child, stealing its HIV medication and smoking it from a light bulb. It's what reckless endangerment sounds like. Grindcore's philosophy, historically, has always lain somewhere between teenage alcoholic nihilism and dented wall misanthropy. It's everything you know and love about extreme music, taken to the extreme. But you already knew that, that's why you're here.

If you're new, prepare to have your curiosity sated. You slow down as you're passing a road accident on the way home from work and a gasp escapes your lips as you catch a glimpse of the contorted bloody mess spilling out onto the tarmac like a butcher van's cargo. What did you expect to find there? You know why your foot hovered over the breaks. That's Grindcore.

In Disgust

It seems like Californian grinders, In Disgust, can't seem to decide whether or not they should remain a band. And though they've apparently called it a day for the second time, they've at least left behind an impressive number of split releases. All of which are the sonic equivalent of being kneecapped. 


Pure Australian evil is not a new phenomenon. Warsore peddled their cancerous noise for a short period of time during the mid 90s before calling it a day, but their anarchistic spite is still as relevant today as ever and their influence on today's Powerviolence cannot be overlooked.

Total Fucking Destruction

Formed by Richard Hoak after Brutal Truth called it a day, Total Fucking Destruction does everything it says on the tin. The destruction is total. Also fucking.


Hailing from Boston, Massachusetts, INTHESHIT are as poisonous as it gets. Relatively new to the game, (with the exception of drummer John Gillis, ex-Anal Cunt live) the band have been hammering out a steady flow of releases that sound like a Chris Benoit roid rage.

Cthulhu Youth

UK Grind pigs Cthulhu Youth are not the type to fuck around. Deviating from the usual "I'm angry because politics" approach to much Grind, Cthulhu Youth instead prefer to assault the senses with the type of discordant nihilism found on the tongues of every public transport junkie in the history of the bus.

Excruciating Terror

Now we're going old school. Excruciating Terror were among the early 90s Grind acts to set the standard for the next two decades worth of ball-crushing death metal and grind. You may not be as likely to hear their name alongside the likes of Carcass or Napalm Death, but their contribution to the genre can't be denied.

Captain Three Leg

Another of the mid-90s Grinders, this Philadelphia gang of thugs peddle a very distinct sound that separates them from many of their peers. Not satisfied with simply banging away at their instruments like tweaking school children, I like to think there's a little bit of Captain Beefheart in ol' Captain Three Leg.

Cryptic Yeast

If Captain Three Leg are unconventional, then Cryptic Yeast are flat-out weird. Combining noise and drum machine electronics, it's hard to tell whether the band are blaspheming or innovation. What is certain, however, is the audio headbutts they dispense as easy as handshakes.

Hiroshima Vacation

Perhaps my favourite of the list, Hiroshima Vacation combine breakneck noise with odd and discordant technicality, like malfunctioning androids becoming self-aware and immediately trying to masturbate. That was a stretch, I'll admit.

Kindergarten Hazing Ritual

Referring to themselves as "Cybergrind" (A label I truly despise), Kindergarten Hazing Ritual stand well above many other acts employing the electronic gimmick. They take all of those chip-tune, 8-bit deathcore sissies and spit them out like chewing tobacco. Kindergarten Hazing Ritual are fucking weird. Gloriously so.

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