Tuesday, 1 April 2014

BREAKING NEWS: Machine Head's Robb Flynn hospitalized. Having poo removed from mouth.

Robb Flynn tweeted this image from hospital earlier today

Machine Head front man and heavy metal maverick Robb Flynn was rushed to hospital in the early hours of the morning following a night of gratuitous talking. Sources close to Flynn claim that he had thanked the fans for "keeping metal alive" at least four times during their concert. The same sources also claim that he had been writing an update for his online journal just twenty minutes before the concert and had been babbling about Metallica, the fact that there's apparently no good extreme music anymore, and describing in great detail the "dark place" he was in at one point in his life.

Family and friends of Flynn have kept quiet over the current situation, but have expressed concern in the past regarding Flynn's shit problem and deteriorating health.

Flynn is to undergo what is known as "poomouth" surgery later this evening, a medical procedure that will break up and slowly extract the immense build-up of shit that Flynn's mouth has accumulated over the years. However rare this procedure is, Flynn is expected to make a full recovery.

More on the story as it develops.

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