Miami Vice/X-Files/Harry and the Hendersons Crossover Episode Pitch

(Harry's lifeless corpse lays on a hotel bed, a syringe hanging from his furry arm. He is surrounded by a forensic team who are snapping photographs of the scene. Sonny Crockett and Ricardo Tubbs enter.)

Crockett

Okay, so who's the dead carpet and why did we get the call?

Tubbs

Mexican Brown. The kind being shipped by the Moreno family.

Crockett

And?

Tubbs

This 'dead carpet' was our man on the inside.

(Crockett inspects the body)

Crockett

Looks like he went in a little over his head.

Tubbs

Understatement of the century. Morphine content in his bloodstream was 6.50 milligrams per litre. 

Crockett

Enough junk to bury the Morenos four times over.

Tubbs

You said it, partner.

(Mulder and Scully enter the hotel room, flashing their FBI IDs to Castillo and other members of Vice, before inspecting Harry's body themselves.)

Tubbs

Looks like the G-force have arrived.

Crockett

And I ain't waiting to find out why they're over here making noise.

(Crockett approaches Mulder and looks him up and down)

Crockett

I'm guessing you didn't get the memo. This is our guy and this is our line. You run out of paperwork?

Scully

And I'm going to assume you aren't familiar with law enforcement hierarchy.

Crockett

This is our jurisdiction, sister.

Scully

And it's our business now.

(Mulder turns his attention away from Harry's corpse.)

Mulder

Scully, can I speak to you in private?

(Scully and Mulder walk outside of the apartment and stand in the hall)

Mulder

Scully, how much do you know about the sasquatch?

Scully

Please, Mulder. Please don't tell me this is why you insisted on us coming here.

Mulder

The sasquatch has been sighted most frequently along the Southeastern United States since the 60s.

Scully

And?

Mulder

We're in Miami, Scully. What if this Harry guy is the sasquatch?

Scully

Or, if you would humour me for just a minute - this is a case of hypertrichosis. A rare affliction, admittedly, but something far more credible to include in our report back to Skinner.

Mulder

Scully. There is an nine-foot tall bipedal creature with ape-like features and enough heroin in its system to kill seven men. Do you really think this is all comes down to a hairy back?

(Tubbs and Crockett enter the hall and confront Mulder and Scully)

Crockett

Now, I don't know what you guys plan on doing here or why you think you can just walk in here and run the show, but let me tell you something...

(Harry suddenly appears from the hotel room door, fully lucid. The room is stunned and silent)

Harry

Aroooghh!!

*Upbeat electronic music plays and opening credits roll*